First, they have perhaps the most irritating names for everything on their menu. They all start with "I am..." and then end with adjectives like "rejuvenated" or "happy" or "sassy"-- I kid you not. And then when the waiter takes your order, he or she says "You are sassy and you are dazzling." Try being told you are dazzling after running 13 miles with a beet red face and dried salt all over you without laughing in the person's face.
Second, everyone is so damn happy I went immediately into catty/bitchy mode. This mood was further enhanced when the waitress came up to our table and started our exchange with "Can I ask you the question of the day?" I thought, "Trivia night seems a little out of place here, but I love questions" and said yes. "What are you grateful for?" she asked. I had to ask her to repeat it and the only thing I could think of (which was true!) was that I was grateful to not be running anymore. Her face fell. I had missed the cue to the performance--I hadn't given a "grateful" answer--I wasn't grateful for world peace or the harmony between children or the sunlight falling through the window. No, my legs hurt and I was really glad to be sitting down. (I suppose the Desired Café Gratitude answer would have been that I was grateful to be healthy enough to run on such a beautiful day-- which I AM, but when I'm very low on blood sugar, I'm far less likely to see the beauty in the world around me.)
After she left, Alex and I said we should have told her I was grateful I would be going home to barbecue dead animals and drink beer-- the antithesis of Café Gratitude.
Third, they provide each table with cards from their board game to read/discuss while the food is being prepared. The questions contained banal, trite questions like "When did you last feel a spiritual connection with nature?" or "What do you usually do when you are around people who are really angry and how could you respond with love to them?" These are approximations as I was so hungry I couldn't remember precisely, but the gist is the same. As a friend pointed out later, "You're not there for group-- you're trying to eat lunch!" However, I suppose they give you cards with such deep premises not to make you feel shallow and cliché (my first thought) but because the service is not quick. I do not understand this considering they're not cooking anything and any food prepared with the dryer would be done ahead of time. Even getting the half an avocado I ordered but the waitress forgot ("I AM missing my avocado") took much longer than I would have to split it and put the inside on a plate.
But here's the true confession: the food is really damn good. I had a "Caesar" salad that was outstanding. You could not mistake it for the original dish, but it was a very, very tasty salad. Brazil nuts were ground up and added to something else to make "Brazil Nut Parmesan" and the "live" croutons were delicious. They tasted nothing like real croutons (in the same way that tofu tastes nothing like ricotta cheese) but were quite pleasant on their own. I had a virgin cucumber margarita that was one of the most refreshing drinks I've had in a while. Lovely, lovely drink. Alex had a fruit salad with some coconut yogurt that was out of this world. We didn't want to admit that it was so yummy, but it WAS.
It was upsetting.
Would I recommend Café Gratitude? Since the main purpose of a restaurant is to serve good food, yes. I still think it's overpriced for some chopped up vegetables, but if it wasn't a weekly event, I could handle it. However, the ambience is not for everyone. If you have any kind of sarcastic, cynical or snide bent to your personality, I highly recommend that you go alone and tell no one of your transgressions. I know that if I returned there with any one of a number of close friends (especially my brother!) we would spend the whole meal giggling and making fun of the accoutrements of the restaurant and possibly the waitstaff as well. So much for a grateful perspective.
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